Clearing the Pathways

Normally, I don't post my daily readings, but today, it was particularly important.  Don't they always say that the first step to recovery is acknowledging there is a problem?  I am feeling particularly sensitive about my health lately and I really want to do something about it.   In the past, goals have been to "lose weight" or "get healthy" or "exercise more."   And yet, here I am.  Same old same old.  I have been learning that it isn't the goals that are important, it is the thinking.  I can't "lose weight" or "get healthy" or "exercise more" because those are just band-aids.  I can lose weight, but will I exercise more and get health?  Probably not.

The problem isn't my fat tummy, its my head.  Or rather, its in my head.

I decided to use the Pathway spread that appears in the Wildwood Tarot book.  It is pretty simple - 1: Issue; 2: Action to Avoid; 3: Action to Take.  The layout is 2-1-3.

The Issue?  I have not cared for my body - I have used it and abused it and thought it would last forever.  But now, I am feeling those excesses.  I am feeling the disregard.  It frightens me.

What Action Should I Avoid?  I see this image as repeating itself, over and over again.  The guilt, the shame, the fear creates an endless cycle of damage.  It is all the bad stuff of the Tower without the moving forward.  Lather-Rinse-Repeat.

What Action Should I Take?  This self-sufficient child has enough sense to find a cave and make a fire.  I am a well educated adult.  And yet, I have the will-power of a gnat.  I just keep putting myself in positions to fail.  It is time to take a stand, a simple stand, and change the mode of thinking.

The visual impact of these cards was quite powerful and posting them here makes them somewhat more real.   Something to which I can refer as I move forward in my life.  Not losing weight, or getting healthy, or exercising more, but just moving forward.